Walnut Creek, California
You are trying to decide whether to stay.
You have been turning it over for months, possibly years. You have made the list. You have imagined both futures. And you still do not know, which is its own kind of exhausting.
This might be you if
- You have rehearsed the conversation and never had it
- You are staying for reasons that are about other people
- You feel guilty for even thinking about it
- You cannot tell any more whether you are unhappy with them or with your life
I will not push you either way
It is not my marriage and it is not my decision. People who arrive at this question have usually been handled by someone with an agenda, a friend who wants them out or a family that wants them in. What I offer is a room with no vote in it.
Most people are stuck on the wrong question
Should I stay is very hard to answer while you are this depleted. The more useful question is what has never actually been tried, honestly and with both people present. Sometimes the answer is that everything has, and that is real information rather than a failure.
Deciding clearly is the goal
Whichever way it goes, the aim is that you can say why, and mean it, and not spend the next five years relitigating it. Some couples rebuild from here. Some part cleanly and with far less damage than they feared, which matters enormously if there are children.
How I would work with this
You are allowed to want a clear answer more than a particular one.
Start with a free 15 minute call
We talk, you ask questions, and you decide if this is right for you. No pressure either way.